so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
