it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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