I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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