oh god the rape fog is back!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
