My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
