i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
