i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
