Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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