we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
