And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
