dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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