so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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