he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
