Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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