I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
These tits shall not be calmed
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
