obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You ruined the universe
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
