all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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