Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
