Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
