Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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