Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
