She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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