Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
