I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
