Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
