Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Small penises have feelings too.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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