There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
