She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
