in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
