That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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