Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
