He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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