I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i drank out of a bidet.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
