So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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