Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
