i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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