haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
