he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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