Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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