Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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