so that wasnt chicken after all
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
