did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
