Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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