For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
