We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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