The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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