Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
