I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Randomize
