the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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