Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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