I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
