I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
