it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
