I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
